Hi, it’s me. Lanny!!

I saw a fair reflection
of mine from the rearview mirror.
I was being driven away
to a place where it rains grey,
where a pale orange dawn
tosses quickly into monochromes.

I want to look back
and destroy a future
I am being taken to,
no matter how tempting
my friends made it sound.
Pastel boulevards,
lips reeking of caffeine,
constricted space in a car
and I am muffling my cries.
I had been known quite a beauty;
beauty is what gets you picked
even though the mountains of emotions
are yet to be explored.

It’s a trap
what if I am not loved
the way I had been all my life.
The music that swiveled
me around along my friends
with the sips of our favorite
beverages in the late evenings,
what if that music turns into the
vinyl records I am not
accustomed to and made
to dance on their tunes.

I am scared.
Can I even share that I am scared
without faltering the pillars
of my standard they have
perceived of me?

I am Lanny, the most beautiful doll
when I was picked from the shop
by a 12 year old, Lanna
the one who showed me
stars in a crowded street,
the one who became the best
of my friend in all these years.

She, now, reluctantly handed me down
to her younger cousin
while she being drove off
to a new mysterious place
as a godly reflection of a perfect bride.
Almost certainly
having the same thoughts
as I am, at the moment.

And I so wanted to say to Lanna
in my muted voice and a poker face
“Come back to me
if your nightmares wake you up,
if you want to run through the meadows again
wearing a light crimson frock and
seizures of childhood,
come to me for cold floor poems
we recited before dozing off.

I am Lanny, the most adored doll
And I am gonna pick you up
for as many times as possible
the way you picked only me
among the crowded toy’s shop.”

He calls me ugly!!

We are friends, we hang out.
Sometimes sit over the walls
of an abandoned yard
legs flailing like Humpty Dumpty,
looking, judging, giggling
over each passer-by.
I think I like him
but he calls me ugly.

He smiles adorably at me
when I get excited over the mangoes
that fall from a nearby tree.

He keeps all the stationery items
ready before our exam
since he’s aware I tend to forget
everything because of my all sorts of
jittery feelings during assessments.

He calls me stupid
because I watch the herd
of cows with their backs
swelling in and out like a wave
while crossing the road
as some kind of free entertainment.

I wear spectacles less often now.
I think my eyes are beautiful
and I want to show him
the only good-looking aspect I have
over my average body
and infant-like tiny crooked teeth.

He rummages through my
books and candies-loaded bag
and manages to find my fat spectacles somehow.
Every time!
And then calls me ugly
while placing it on my nose.

He sometimes misses his cricket practice
because I have frequent tiffs with my parents
for letting me choose the
career I feel I can be best at.

He says he will come
and talk to my parents.
So they let me do whatever
I want to do in life.
I laugh at his audacity.

At times, I do steal instances
to avenge him.
I call him stupid and ugly
and can’t stop laughing.

His childlike pout makes
my heart flutter again.
Why does he bear with me so much?
He again calls me ugly.
Why do I feel pretty when he calls me that?
When did this ‘ugly’ word
become so personal to me?

If ever, each relationship gets
as ugly as this one is
I’ll never look for
any beauty in this world.

Story of a little ‘Prisoner’

A Heart Wrenching CRY:

Happy squeals fill the room
Darkness of Silence finally consumed

Tiny steps satiate the hearts
Years after gloominess from patio departs

Infancy thrived & grew a bit taller
In no time child became a cute kindergarten brawler 

The DAY had come
When his fun had to finally succumb

Outside world was new to him
Fear of going to school filled his eyes to brim

Bribing through his doe-eyes; he clutched Mommy hard
Wishing her to melt to let him stay under her protective guard

Reluctantly reaching the destination…
Recalls Mommy’s words – Smile & NEVER show your hesitation. 

Smiling brightly he treated everyone equally
A touch here a touch there, the day couldn’t start more evilly

Something in him bothered
but with enchanting smile he maintained composure

Upon arriving home he wanted to let out a cry
warm wide-opened arms made him forget those BAD GUYS.

Next morning brought back the trembling fear
But what to say- there were rules meant to be adhered….

School bus drivers, staff, faculty
everybody seemed to be at guilty

Laughingly, making him to sit on their laps
he could feel that filthy contact

Things reiterated,
increased day-by-day
it appeared he became their personal hostage.

Every morning dreading to find an excuse
innocent soul faced all alone those awful blues

seemingly directionless himself, everybody else went down south
his sole fault that he couldn’t open his mouth

the only place considered as source of light…[school]
had become a rotten jail room of fright

Eventually this took a heinous turn in their lives
little kid didn’t return to home,
piercing his family’s heart with thousands of knives

Kid’s futile protest enraged them enough to give him a black-eye
& then to leave him there…to die

Officials said he had a sliced neck
and his family had to send him away with the last peck

those parents still hear agonized cries –
“Maaa!…. DAD!”
as if his mutilated parts crying relentlessly for help

Silence in their lives came back with dark shadows
when there was no one to play in the meadow

Despicable animals masquerading as humans,
their abhorrent behavior snatched away the little innocence.


{There is nothing worse than snatching a kid’s innocent childhood let alone his/her life. Yes this is a story of a 7-year-old [Front-page news] succumbing to cold blooded murder in the school premises, by the staff itself. Prime suspect, a bus conductor and two members of the school staff exhibited their inhuman disgusting behavior by slitting the boy’s throat in an attempt to assault him sexually.

Another incident took place where 14-year-old girl was raped by 5 men and the horrifying part was that her body was mutilated & parts were thrown away in an open field.

Is this that coercive environment we brazenly call our home; where humanity is hanging by the threads, where everyday’s brutal attacks are much more venomous than any animal could ever do, where you can never recognize a monster by naked eye, where there is no feeling of righteousness in people’s heart.

There are kids who remain prisoner of their childhood their entire life, their fruitless attempts to start a new life make them go down the hill all over again. And it’s not only about the kids, anyone who is a victim of such horrendous crimes goes through hell lot of pain, discomfort, mental plague & needs a significant amount of patience and energy to leave their past behind.

Will this place ever be free of these monsters? }

The ‘Umbrella Guy’

Lost in his thoughts
walking down the pavement
That man always dreamed to go far beyond

Tortured by loneliness
Yet exulted with many
When did he become life’s unwanted pawn

Pouring water touched the time
When his merrymaking friend used to smile
kissing away all his troubles as sure as magic wand

Her melting embrace, her twinkling eyes
when lost at the age of six
“Come back, Mom” is all he could say when life had him conned

Precious bond was broken, with it his little heart
running after those shadows
Wish he could turn time around

He forgot to express
even at people’s behest
reminiscing those days when he didn’t require words to respond

With time elapsing, new friends entered life
some betrayed some left in a while
he kept searching into the horizon for something more than a Utility Bond

People said “you’re heartless”
he smiled and move forward
he knew he lost his heart with the person when he got abandoned

Yet he tried to keep them happy
and yet girls question for men being so insensitive
how could he tell them that he had been trying to feel… since long

Falling rain reminded him of everything
those untroubled childhood days of fun
drenched from head to toe act was loved & never once frowned

He hopes to be with someone
being that chirpy boy again
thinks while walking down the pavement,

because this ‘Umbrella Guy’ deserves to be owned