Today!!

The Sun surprises me again, today!
With its conniving and whimsical rays.
I almost packed my bags to leave
Yet the daylight dodged the darkest blanket
I covered myself in and dared to enter
the far-flung angle of my knapsack;
Where my blacks, blues, and grey clothes
were put in solitary, finally befriending the night.
Those disobedient rays startled me
with their barbarous act of trying
to outshine the unlighted patches.

Without exception it made me think,
ponder over what was happening?
Is it again the silly magic of hope?
Are those tiny seeds being planted in my head?
Or am I being scammed again?
To drown me in endless loops
of Hope
of Optimism
of Trust
of Faith.

NO! it’s a hoax. I promised myself.
I won’t fall for it again.

Where was this light while I cared & waited, even for a single shred of it.
while I was unquestionably & whole-heartedly ‘giving’
while I was holding onto the last thread of hope;
holding it so tight that it did nothing but
continuously injured me by harshly pulling
back the strings and finally
ripped my arms off.
My hands got bruised amid the
tugging war of ‘keep fighting for it’ and ‘let it go’.
Hands that were always raised for prayers,
always lifted to help others,
always held the broken ones
it’s as if my devotion was thoroughly mocked
and those hands were cut off altogether.

I know the game being played now.
Because I had finally stopped caring
You need me back.
Because you cringe at me for being heartless
You want me to feel again.

You(The Universe) always find a way
You win every time, somehow.
As always managed to make me think
Even if I kept pushing away the thoughts
with all my might.
You did it.
And once again
Amidst miserable fragments and shredded days
I am now looking at life with new hopes.
Anticipating some good is still left somewhere
that is bound to come my way.
And the good which is yet to be done through my hands,
Some goals yet to be reached.
Some moments yet to be lived.

The light entered my heart again, today!
And I wish to keep it for as long as I can
This time!

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