There is only so much a person can do. It’s not your fault. You are just a responsible person.
Responsibility in itself sounds a heavy word that shrieks of an unannounced oath of putting others before you. But what if I say this feeling is growing unhealthily for you, in you. It has become so imperative for you to keep them protected that you have forgotten you need protection too. You need to be loved too.
Being responsible is really hard. You are sure everything is lying on your shoulders. You can’t catch a break. You can’t afford to commit mistakes but are expected to ignore other’s. You are always the one looking out for others whether those are younger or older to you. People slack around you knowing you’d handle everything. That is flattering only to a point when it’s not draining you out anymore. When you ignore these signs you put yourself under unnecessary burdens and stress. You can never fully relax. Your routines, priorities, organising things for others, piking up other’s shit can make you forget your own dreams and aspirations.
All I wanna say is take it easy. Don’t lose sleep over it. It’s gonna be okay. You are going to go through it so don’t kill yourself over it. Let others take up some of your burden. Start to share. Let them learn by their mistakes. Be there for them, just don’t spoon-feed. Otherwise there would be lot of unsaid resentment that will make you bitter and your energy around. Take help when it’s offered. Ask if there is none. Don’t be shy. Make time for your dreams. Do activities you like doing. Be responsible, trustworthy but surround yourself with people who’d have your back too. Find a balance between duties and living a life.
You are doing enough. You are enough.